Family and loved ones help

The concept of a person getting help regarding the problem of heroin addiction usually targets the addict. While there is nothing wrong with this concept it does ignore a central truth. The addict is medicated during the majority of their using history while most of the family members and other caring people are not. At least not to the extent the addict is.

Heroin is a cozy drug. The user is nurtured and mothered by the opiate floating around in their system. I often think of heroin as a teddy bear type of chemical. The user cuddles up to the drug and during sleep or nod can often be heard making sounds that can be found in the mouth of a nursing babe. That is a clue as to both how heroin addicts feel while under the influence and how difficult it is to give it up. Saying goodby to heroin is somewhat akin to leaving a loving mother, or at least it has some of those elements to it. However, I digress. The point is most of the non-addicted are taking the experience right in the teeth without the benefit of being breast fed. This adds up to a real injury and a real hisory of harm coming from the addicted one.

There is a primary rule for the people who love the addict. You need to survive. Without meeting that goal all the rest is just chatter. So the next question becomes evident. What does survival mean to you? Unfortunately, no one can give you the answer but yourself. What might be good for one could kill the other. Good treatment demands individual planning, taking into account all the particulars of a person's case. The same is true of the co-affected.

Because this is a blog, I am able to be opinionated. I have 20 yeras working in the treatment and prevention industry. I have been involved with outpatient, inpatient, residential, day treatment adn night treatment, methadone, buprenorphine, legal heroin and most other forms of help for the heroin addicted.

Many of the belief systems that rule the therapy world regarding the treatment of the "caring ones" or "loving ones" as I will now refer to them, are harsh judges . Labels such as codependent and phrases such "they are sicker than the addict" have worked their way into the heads of caregivers, leaving the distinct impression of disdain and pathology. I am not arguing that the "caring ones" are deeply affected by their life with the addict. That part is bang on. It fits with my earlier remark about how the addict is medicated compared to others who often are not.

Common solutions for the problem of loving an addict are readily available at 12 step meetings and most therapist offices. In a nutshell they are about getting you and the addict help. This is a great idea and no one can argue its basic theme. Help indeed is needed, but the problem begins to occur during the second or third or fourth or whatever number of multiple efforts are made. The number of attempts at help is due to the reluctance of the heroin addict to give up BOTH the drug and the lifestyle.

To be Continued....